I Wish The Distractions Could Last Longer!!!

Sock Swag and drums are wonderful distractions.  These days… they’re ONLY distractions.

This dealing with the side effects is an all day AND all night proposition!!!  Let’s start with the nights.

I slept in one hour segments over the past two nights.  Falling asleep is not a problem. Staying asleep is the issue.  My mouth dries out while I am asleep. That cracked, dry, irritated feeling on my tongue wakes me up and keeps me awake for an hour or two reigning the irritation in.  This sleep cycle is the same every single time I rack out and it is getting old! The all day part of the proposition is dealing with all the medicines being used to reign in the side effects. 

I have never taken this many drugs in all my life.  I do not understand how people live their lives when they must return to the orange and brown bottles every three or four hours.  This irritates the shit out of me!!! I suppose it would be a lot easier if I could swallow everything instead of using the P E G tube.

I feel like a race car that has the 3 gallon fuel tank: drive a few laps, roll in for a pit stop and get serviced up, then zoom back out on the track for another few laps.  I spend a lot of time at my impromptu service station these days… ingesting meds, staying hydrated, and facilitating proper nourishment from 8 ounce boxes. This is my daily routine until I can return to the land of chewers and drinkers.

Believe me… I wish my days had more to offer.  I will keep the bitching to a minimum in future posts; I promise!  This post was written during one of those moments of pure frustration.  Like kidney stones… this too shall pass!!!

Thanks for hanging with me thus far.  I will find the positive in all this and share the observations.

One Positive?

Those wonderful people who choose to be in the cancer space, dealing with the salty drummer and numerous other brothers and sisters in cancer that suffer more than I do.  These servants are amazing! They have my unwavering respect and appreciation every single day. They are a huge positive!!!


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