The medical professionals mention a lot of things in the hospital during pre op and post op. The amount of information coming in from so many people becomes overwhelming. Now… imagine you’re the one in for surgery. You try to process everything but it feels hopeless at times; especially when it is your first time going through this. You’re pretty much checked out for the following 24 hours after they wheel you into the OR. I vaguely remember them discussing one thing! The side effects of the post op drugs.
The medicines may cause some side effects: sleepiness, dehydration, constipation, etc.
“No big deal,” I’m thinking… and that is a red flag I did not see!!!
The hospital’s drugs and the surgery itself took all the feeling away from my neck and the right side of my face. I took the steroids and antibiotic to keep the healing process moving along. I was not feeling anything, let alone pain, in those first few days after surgery. The nerves started waking up about four days later which is when I started on the pain meds. I’d take one pill every eight hours to keep the pain down. The warning on the bottle said the drug could be addictive. That was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I expected to be a bit drowsy from time to time so no driving cars for a while (now my Wendy is my chauffeur).
All seems to be going well until this past Monday. I’d completely forgot about the possibility of constipation. Let me tell you…
That Shit HURTS… LITERALLY!!!!
I mean make-a-grown-man-cry-like-a-little-bitch hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No 10 CM dilation, no episiotomy, and no epidural: just sit there, play toilet games with tears in my eyes, and wait.
So what about this Sqautty Potty?
Our sons learned about it on Shark Tank, and one of the sharks offered the entrepreneurs a deal. The boys have their own Squatty Potty now and love it. In simple terms, the Squatty Potty’s purpose is to rightly align the body (specifically the colon and rectum) to facilitate the process of going #2.
For me, that shit still hurt. However, once my feet were up on the Squatty Potty, the passage was open for a hasty departure. I’m guessing I was playing Aggravation, Concentration, Ker Plunk, and Game of Thrones for 30 - 45 minutes.... you know, the games you play while sitting on the toilet!!! I cannot imagine how much longer the Olympic games would’ve lasted if my Wendy had not brought in the Squatty Potty to bring the games to an end.
I suspect such things do not get talked about much, and I can see why. It certainly is not the highlight of my life. Unfortunately, as J-Roc from the Trailer Park Boys rapped, (Look up the Episode: "Microphone Assassin" on Netflix.)
“It could happen to you, cuz it happened to me.”
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I am amazingly clueless about all this right now. Every passing day is a new experience and more for me to learn about living through cancer treatment and being on this Unwanted Detour Tour.