The Pros & Cons Of Having The Notorious P E G Tube

Life with the Notorious P E G is different.  Really though… it boils down to a list of the pros and cons you live with.  It is all relative to what you prefer. Gordon Ramsey would hate life if all his food was consumed through a feeding tube for obvious reasons.  Me? I am kind of neutral about it all. I do not want to live like this forever. That would suck! The temporary inconvenience has not been too bad.

So… here are the Pro and Con lists as I have experienced it (some items may be on both lists too).  It is all in random order:

PROS 

  • Zero food prep (cuz each serving is in an 8 ounce box) - great for lazy, underachieving people like me 
  • Gravity works wonders 
  • The kitchen doesn’t get destroyed 
  • Virtually no time spent on shopping lists, recipes, meal planning, and competing with everyone at Target and Costco 
  • You taste nothing 
  • You do not eat and drink - you feed 
  • No spilled drinks in the car 
  • Feeding at the bathroom sink - lots of alone time 
  • Bypasses a radiated throat - that is WAY BUENO!!! 
  • Piano and drums are still easy play!!!
  • Loose fitting shirts have become rather fashionable

 

CONS 

  • No eating and drinking while driving - no multitasking 
  • No Doritos and Cheetos at all - this is hell!!! 
  • It gets messy when you forget clamp the tube after feeding - gravity can work against you too 
  • It is a bit more time consuming 
  • You taste nothing 
  • Drugs must be dissolved before being consumed (this adds a lot of time to the feeding routine) 
  • You do not eat and drink - you feed 
  • Feeding at the bathroom sink - it is not like family and friends want to watch the festivities 
  • Makes playing guitar and bass a lot more difficult 
  • Cannot enjoy good company with a good dinner 
  • No BBQ!!! 
  • Thicker fluids and shakes need to be diluted down 
  • The syringe holds 2 ounces ( a quarter cup of fluid) at a time
  • Adds an extra challenge to sleeping and taking showers
  • Gas build-up in the stomach makes for a scary scene when you open the cap on the tube... think "rapid decompression!"

I try eating food.  The Viscous Lidocaine has a consistency of Karo Syrup and sticks to everything it touches for a long time.  The food tastes okay, but the consistency is weird... food sticks to the Lidocaine and slides back and forth against the roof of my mouth.  Imagine pouring uncooked Cream of Wheat on some petroleum jelly and rubbing the mixture between your hands.  Eventually, you will feel the grainy consistency of the Cream of Wheat.  Can't do that for long.  

 

So I stick with the Notorious P E G until further notice!

 

Tootles

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